Why One California Mom Ditched the Rat Race for Rural Italy—and Found Herself Along the Way
There’s a certain kind of exhaustion that creeps in slowly for modern American parents. It’s not just the sleepless nights or endless snack prep. It’s something deeper—an unrelenting pressure to “do it all,” while feeling like you’re constantly falling short.
That’s where Clara Hogan found herself. Living in California, juggling work, motherhood, and the relentless cost of childcare, she started questioning the entire framework of her life. Like so many parents in the U.S., she was checking all the boxes—career, family, housing—but feeling increasingly disconnected from her own joy, from her kids, and even from herself.
So she made a radical decision: she moved her family to rural Italy.
And in doing so, she found something she didn’t even know she was missing.
Leaving Behind the “Always-On” Lifestyle
Hogan's move wasn’t driven by fantasy. She didn’t relocate because she fell in love with olive trees on a summer vacation. It was a conscious rejection of the culture of burnout so prevalent in the United States. The U.S. ranks notoriously low among developed countries when it comes to parental support. According to the OECD, America is the only industrialized country that doesn’t guarantee paid parental leave. Add to that the spiraling cost of daycare—often upwards of $1,200/month per child—and it’s no wonder American parents are drowning.
“I felt like I was running on fumes,” Hogan later reflected. “Like I was watching my kids grow up in between Slack messages and commute traffic.”
Rural Italy: A Slower Rhythm, A Deeper Breath
When she landed in rural Italy, the first thing Hogan noticed wasn’t just the beauty of the countryside. It was the pace. Things move slower there. Shops close in the afternoon. Neighbors talk to each other in the street. Children walk to school—alone. That autonomy, trust, and simplicity hit her like a wave.
Italian culture prizes the family unit, but not in the performative way often seen on social media. In Italy, family is woven into the rhythm of life. Multigenerational households are common. Meals are sacred. Screens are put away, and attention is given freely. Hogan found herself participating in life again, not just surviving it.
Her kids began to change too. Without the overscheduled chaos of American extracurriculars, they played more. They wandered. They got bored—something Hogan had come to see not as a problem but as a gift.
The Invisible Tax of American Motherhood
What Clara Hogan experienced is part of a much larger reckoning among millennial parents. For decades, the American dream sold people on the idea that hard work equals reward. But for many modern parents—especially mothers—this formula is breaking down. Instead, they’re stuck in what sociologist Caitlyn Collins calls “a system designed to fail families.”
Hogan began to question the very metrics of success she’d once lived by. She realized she didn’t want to be applauded for balancing ten spinning plates. She wanted fewer plates.
Language Barriers and Cultural Clashes
Of course, it wasn’t all rustic charm and fresh pasta. Moving to a new country with children isn’t easy. There were language barriers, bureaucratic headaches, and moments of deep loneliness. Hogan didn’t speak Italian fluently when she arrived. Her kids struggled to adjust at school.
But with time, the challenges softened into routine. Her children picked up the language, forming friendships and adapting far faster than she had expected. The village they lived in, initially wary, opened up to them. Life slowed—and deepened.
Reimagining Parenting
The most profound shift, Hogan said, was in how she began to parent. In California, every moment felt transactional—drop-offs, pickups, Zoom calls, playdates. In Italy, she found space to just be with her kids.
“Back in California, I was just trying to keep up,” she wrote in an article reflecting on the move. “Here, I feel like I’m finally raising my children the way I always imagined.”
The stressors that once consumed her—childcare costs, safety concerns, endless logistics—faded into the background. Italy didn’t just give her a new address. It gave her a new paradigm.
A Path Less Traveled—But Growing in Popularity
Hogan isn’t alone. Increasingly, American families are rethinking where—and how—they want to raise their children. Digital nomadism, remote work, and a growing disenchantment with U.S. policies are pushing families to consider alternative lifestyles abroad.
Places like Portugal, Spain, and Italy are becoming magnets for this new wave of intentional expats—not just retirees or tech bros, but families seeking a better quality of life. It’s not about escaping America. It’s about choosing something different.
Something slower. Something saner.
Final Thoughts
Clara Hogan’s journey isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Not everyone can—or wants to—pack up and move across the world. But her story raises a critical question: What are we sacrificing in the name of “having it all”?
Sometimes, reclaiming joy means letting go of the hustle. Sometimes it means choosing presence over productivity. And sometimes, it means booking that one-way ticket and building the life you always dreamed of—in a small Italian village where the WiFi is spotty, but the wine is plentiful and your children are free.
Sources & Further Reading:
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